Late night ramble

Just spent another awesome weekend with the Colemans. I seriously have the BEST in-laws ever. While I was over there I had to locate a number on their fridge and came across something else. Unconditional support and love. I saw handmade cards of Father's Days past, recent report cards, countless photos of the kids growing up...I was just amazed at how this fridge was a collage of love. Looking through everything I got so excited for my future family and being able to raise my children with that same type of love and support. When my child is struggling with long division, I want to know about it and I want to help them! Can't help but wonder how things might have been different had my sister or I had that same type of environment, though I conversely, would not be the person I am today.

I remember by the time I got to my second highschool thinking that school was just a joke. I was living with my Aunt and Uncle at the time and sometimes I had a ride to school and sometimes I didn't. I usually slept in until 10 or so and asked my friend's brother to drive me to school if I decided to go (he was a drug dealer btw, but that a story for another time). I remember thinking my first two periods were obsolete. If you grew up where I did, you inadvertently knew Spanish fluently by eight years old anyway and when was I ever going to use this dumb graph shit my algebra teacher keeps rambling about (Oh how I wish I knew then that my career now depends on that algebra shit inside and out and I would be teaching myself out of a highschool textbook ten years later!). I once missed almost two consecutive weeks of school, went into the nurse afterwards and explained I was sick and was able to get it excused just like that. No one seemed to notice that I was rarely going to school or cared to ask what I was doing driving my Uncle's car to LA with my 14 year-old sister in the passenger seat in the middle of the night. On a school night. Without a driver's license.

Sure we may have some good memories, but life would have been a lot easier if we had someone, anyone, asking what we were learning in school or even if we had homework to complete. I can't wait to see the work my children bring home and not just because I want them to stay out of trouble, but because I care about and love them so much and they are not even born yet. I want to hear about their days and hang up their finger painted family portraits on my fridge. I never never want them to feel alone and that they are the only person that they will ever be able to depend on. We are not meant to be alone.

This brings me to another point. It is so easy to get stuck in the mentality that we can only depend on ourselves since no one really cares and everyone will let you down. The trick to breaking out of this rut is to find someone and let them know that you care about them and be the person that supports them. Think if we all did this. We all let someone know that we care. We wouldn't be walking around so lonely and crestfallen; we'd feel consumed by love and support and never feel that we only had ourselves to rely on.